Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
