I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
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