She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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