I'm lost and stupid without you.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you would pick up someone in the library
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
