if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
