Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
