Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize