My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I have fence marks all over my body
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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