Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
