I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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