No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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