I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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