Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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