I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
