just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
