I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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