So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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