Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
