your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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