And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
