Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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