i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
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When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
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We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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