yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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