They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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