Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
