Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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