how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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