honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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