Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
