she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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