I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
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