with your own penis?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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