jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
