nut hugger
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
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