He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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