I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
