How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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