i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
