oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I have already put on my inside pants.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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