After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
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