nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
