the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
