Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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