i just wanna soil my oats bro
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
