Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm just crazy horny about you
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize