I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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