You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
