your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
