i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
