..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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