i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
