I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
