I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
