Im at strip club and am horny
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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