i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
