new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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