12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
