I wannas sexs uuuuu
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
