Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
