hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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