Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Barsexuality is the new black.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
