If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
